The Arrival of Phebe Caroline...the long version

On February 15th, 2012, Ryan and I welcomed our 3rd child and 2nd daughter - Phebe Caroline Woolley - into the big, bright world. This is the story of her arrival, fresh from the mint, preserved in ridiculous detail for posterity's sake.

First of all, her name...I agonize over the names of my children, especially the girls. I think it's because I really like my name. I've always thought it really fit me and was something I could be proud of, and I want my kids to feel the same way about theirs. Jeremy's name was easy because Ryan had pictured his son having that name for years. Jeremy Ryan seemed to fit him even when he was still in utero. I also care a lot about what names mean. Jeremy means "God will raise up," and Ryan means "little king."

Chloe Alice was a little harder, but not because I couldn't find her name but rather because I resisted the name for a long time. The middle name was easy; my great-grandmother, Alice Lucille Murphy, passed away in 2009. She is one of my favorite people in the entire universe and one of my biggest influences, so I knew my first daughter would honor her somehow. Pretty early on, I stumbled on the name Chloe, and I loved it with Alice, but I thought that it was just too popular a name - top 10 in girls' names for several years. She might be one of like three Chloes every year in school, so I put it aside, but I kept coming back to it. It just fits her, and to this day everyone agrees she is such a Chloe. Chloe means "verdant, blooming" (fitting for a spring baby), and Alice means "noble, exalted."

Phebe Caroline was also hard, but I'm so glad we chose it! I first stumbled upon the name Phebe while looking at Ryan's genealogy. There are absolutely no Phebes in the last 10 generations of Ryan's family tree EXCEPT along his father's line exactly 10 generations back from our kids. There were FIVE Phebes that generation, and three of them spelled their names "Phebe" instead of "Phoebe". I liked that spelling alot because it makes more phonetic sense (at least in English). That's part of the reason I like the spelling of my name; it's pronounced like an upside down 'e'. No one says Vay-nessa or Vah-nessa. It's Vuh-nessa. Not that I think my mom did that on purpose. Regardless, I think of the Phebe spelling as the 'classic' spelling and not just a random changing of letters to be trendy. As a final bonus, when you see Phebe, you're less likely to think Phoebe Buffay from "Friends" than with the typical spelling. Phebe means "bright, radiant".

On to Caroline (pronounced with a long 'i' sound)...Caroline is a combination of Carol and Lynn, my mom's first and middle names. Caroline is in honor of my mom, but as an added bonus, all the mom-figures in my life are kind of represented in the name. My step-moms are Caralea and Lynn. Cool, huh? Caroline means "free man". That one is kind of funny because the name is in honor of my mom, and she is strong-willed and tough. Not a bad meaning for a name representing her!

So that is how we came up with our kids' names. We love them, and so far, we think they do, too.

Now to spotlight Phebe...

Just about everyone I've ever talked to that has had three or more kids has said that the labor and birth of the third one follows a different pattern than the others. That sure was the case for me. My first labor lasted six hours with 2 1/2 hours of dilation and 3 1/2 hours of pushing. My second labor was 2 1/2 hours, where I spent maybe two minutes pushing. This one was 11 hours. Both previous times my water broke at or near the beginning of labor, and things took off from there. I had no pain medication/epidural, but honestly, there hardly would've been time for one.

Things could not have been more different this time around. I started having contractions around 12:30 in the morning. They weren't very painful, but they were longish and close (40 seconds long every three minutes). Generally, the rule of thumb is to go to the hospital when you've had one hour of contractions that are less than five minutes apart and around 45 seconds long, so after two hours, I called the doctor to ask her opinion. They didn't hurt very badly, but they were bad enough that I couldn't sleep or anything. Dr. Yuan said that because of my history of fast labors, I should just come in. I felt completely silly doing that, but Ryan called our neighbor Sharon to come stay at our house with the kids and we headed to the hospital.

When we got to labor and delivery at about 3:30, I was still three centimeters, just like I'd been at my 38 week check-up the morning before. I was frustrated because the contractions were pretty uncomfortable but weren't doing anything, so I figured we should just go home. The nurse told me to walk for an hour and see if the contractions started doing anything, and if they weren't, I could go home. At 4:30 after an hour of walking, I was five centimeters dilated, so they told me I needed to stay.

This is where it got really frustrating. I walked those halls and did not sit down from 4:30 to 7:30 when they checked me again, and I stayed five centimeters!!! I was not used to unproductive contractions. I can handle pain pretty well when I know it's good pain (i.e. bringing me my baby), but this hurting for no good reason was really annoying. At 7:30, the nurse suggested that I have my water broken. The doctor was coming in for a scheduled 8 am C-section, and she could break it before or after her other surgery. I voted for before, but the doctor was MIA for an hour and then went in to surgery without seeing me. When I sat down my contractions spread out (but didn't stop), so Ryan and I decided to take a little nap. I hadn't slept a single wink that night and had had nothing to eat since dinner the night before, so I was exhausted and starving. I lay down for the first time since getting to the hospital and tried to sleep for an hour. I think I might've gotten 10 or 15 minutes total between contractions.

Finally the doctor came by at 10 am, checked and found that I was still 5-6 centimeters, 70% effaced, and -1 station, and then broke my water. (note that that means I had gone 6 1/2 hours with NO progress!!!) Ryan and I resumed our walk through the halls and within fifteen minutes, my contractions were up to the intensity I was used to. Don't get me wrong, pain sucks, but I was sure glad that things were starting to pick up pace. By a few minutes til 11, they were breath-taking, and I was really having to concentrate through them.

We returned to our room at 11:05 and asked the nurse to check me soon. She didn't seem to think I should be checked so soon, but she watched one of my contractions and said she'd check me at 11:15. The contractions were so intense I was close to panicking, something I'd never done in my previous labors (which were also unmedicated), but Ryan was the most excellent coach and did a fantastic job of keeping me focused and calm. I told the nurse I was feeling pressure, and she had me get on the bed to be checked. I was 8 centimeters dilated at 11:08 but they called for the doctor because they could tell I was progressing quickly. After two more contractions, they checked me again (11:12 or so), and I was fully dilated. That's two centimeters in about four minutes! After ten hours of near ineffectual labor, my body used just a single hour to go from 5 to 10 centimeters. It was the most intense, breath-taking pain I have ever felt, and I am not exaggerating when I say I could not have done it without my most perfect husband there with me.

Just then the doctor walked in and pushing commenced. Even when I wasn't pushing, I could feel her moving down the birth canal. With Ryan's help I was able to relax between pushes and to keep my breathing (somewhat) under control. There was also another nurse that came in to assist with the birth named Kathy Butler, who actually goes to my church, and she was also a great coach to me those last few minutes. On about the third push (they were pretty much continuous contractions so it's hard to differentiate pushes), her head emerged. I thought I was golden, but then her left shoulder got stuck (shoulder dystocia, they call it). I could see my doctor's face change, and she commanded I lie flat and pull my legs up. The myriad of nurses (not sure when they all came in) started pushing and shoving on my uterus to help the doctor get her unstuck. After a long, scary, painful minute, they got her free, and Phebe emerged into the world.

Shoulder dystocia is scary because in trying to get the baby free, the collar bone can break and there can be nerve damage. Luckily, Phebe seems unscathed by that little hiccup in her grand entrance.

At 11:15, Phebe Caroline Woolley was born. She hadn't finished being born before her father was gasping "She's beautiful, she's beautiful!" She was 8 pounds, 7 ounces and 20.25" long. Her perfectly round head (because it had no time to mold in the birth canal) has a fine coating of darker hair. Her eyes are slate gray. Her face is round with a massive double chin, but her body is long and slender. Jeremy and Chloe have thick thighs like both of their parents, but Phebe has slender legs from top to bottom. She has long fingers and toes, big feet, a long torso, and Ryan's nose and broad shoulders. That may sound manly, but she pulls it off elegantly. Pictures do not do her justice, as she is just stunning.

Overall, I think she looks a lot like Chloe did as a newborn, but she has a lot of Jeremy's facial expressions including the lip:

She's not that long, but she's slender so it makes her look longer.

Welcome, Phebe! We love you and are so happy you're here!

Jeremy and Chloe meeting Phebe at the hospital the day she was born:

Chloe's going to be an amazing big sister:




Long feet and toes:

My beautiful girl: